When you were just over 10 weeks old you decided that you would test me. At this point I was still breastfeeding you and seemed to go well.. until this day.
When you woke up you fed for a little while, nothing to your usual self, but throughout the morning you screamed and resisted any further feeds I attempted to give you. This carried on through the afternoon.
I called my health visitor (by this time I was crying along with you and we were both a mess!) she told me to keep trying and she would come to see me the next day... I don't think I could have coped until then if it continued. What made it worse was the thought that you were in pain because you had missed so many feeds.
I called your Aunty Heidi, who suggested we buy some formula for the evening and night to settle you and to try breastfeeding again in the morning when we were a little less stressed. You drank so much formula from a bottle when we got it and immediately you were settled.
But unfortunately you had enough of me and wanted to drink only from a bottle, I did manage to feed you at night for almost a week but then i dried up and that was that.
Its peculiar that until your aunt suggested for me to try a bottle i wouldn't have thought of it, from all the talking with other professionally and the push for breastfeeding it wasn't mentioned.
But it didn't stop me from feeling as if I had failed you.
Thankfully the thought went away and I got to thinking that so long as you were fed then it shouldn't matter what type you had, and it's not like I hadn't tried at all.
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